It Only Hurts When I Blog

Greetings, Blog-readers!

What do YOU want to be when YOU grow up?

First of all, I believe it's clear that I'm never going to grow up (play Peter Pan soundclip of 'Never Grow Up').

But even if I pretend I'm going to grow up, I know what I will never be... a car salesperson.

Somehow, the subject of car sales as a vocation, and what type of personality it takes to BE a car salesperson was mentioned during our evening 'chat sessions' in the hospitality suite at the conference. 'Hospitality' means food and drinks, by the way. Draws people like ants to sugar.

To sum it up, there was not a shred of positive vibe from anyone listening about 'what it takes' to be a car salesperson. There was probably more about what it takes to protect yourself FROM car salespeople.

Now - if you ARE a car salesperson and reading this blog - please comment about whether you feel loved in the world or not. I apologize if you are offended by my judgement about typical car sales 'personas', but I can sum it up with... payback's a bitch.

Here's an excellent article written by a man who went 'undercover' to become a car salesman and see what the world of car sales was like:

http://www.edmunds.com/advice/buying/articles/42962/page001.html

Gee Karen, you sound MEAN today - is it Monday or something? PMS maybe?

No, I'm not upset, but just TYPING about car salesmen is enough to make someone annoyed!

Quote of the day:
Like you're in the showroom, about to either buy that car or walk out, and they're the salesman, saying "What do I have to say to get you in this car?"
Bill Maher

No matter who you talk to, everyone thinks the car sales game is a sleazy one. Car sales, furniture sales and timeshare sales actually – the worst of the worst.

You recall that I got a response from my Monster resume from a dealership looking for car sales trainees. They MUST be desperate to email to computer nerds who typically have limited people skills. Hmmm....maybe that’s what it takes!

A few car salesman stories…

Being the bargain hunter/cheapskate that I am, I wanted to go look around at a dealership that advertised a ‘hail damage sale’. Charlie went with me. We actually passed another ‘hail sale’ last week after the tornadoes here in Middle Tennessee. Supposedly after a hailstorm they have a lot of cars with minor dings from hail, and offer discounts for the 'imperfections'.

We walked the lot, looking for the ‘deals’. Mr. Sleazeball Salesman spots us, comes out of the showroom, and stalks us. I asked something like ‘We’re looking for the hail damaged cars that are on sale’. Mr. Sleazeball answered ‘Oh – we really don’t have any hail damaged cars.’ I said ‘Your newspaper advertisement says you do.’ Mr. Sleazeball looked us right in the eye, and said ‘Oh yes, we have lots of hail damaged cars’ immediately after he had just finished saying there weren’t any. Disgusting.

Note from Karen: Charlie reminded me that when Mr. Sleazeball Salesman started stalking us, he completely turned all his attention to Charlie and ignored me. I had repressed that memory.

I went to a car sale at a mall once – they had set up a lot full of cars there to look at and buy if you wanted one. I looked at some cars, accompanied by my car salesman stalker. I mentioned something about my boyfriend during our conversation. The car salesman stalker immediately asked if HE would be buying me the car. NO, you dumb **** – do you see anyone else here?

I have had a car salesman suggest that ‘I just put down a deposit and take this one’, and then ‘bring it back if I don’t like it’. I DON’T THINK SO.

I have had a car salesman offer me an interest rate much higher than the going rate, just to see if he could get away with it. It just doesn’t inspire trust when they try to gouge you once you've made your decision to buy. It's like - 'Oh YES, we've roped them - now what else can we get away with?'

I have had a car salesman try to sell me a car while he was standing next to the car with his leg stuck in the door - innocently revving the gas pedal with his foot to try to keep the engine running in the hunk of junk he was trying to sell. It wouldn't stay running. (It was a Neon when they first came out).

One car dealership lost a sale because a car stalker salesman never came out and waited on a friend of ours. (How does THAT happen? Were they DEAD?) Our friend didn’t like being ignored, and took his money and his sale elsewhere.

Charlie and I went to look at a truck one time - the salesman was so aggressive he practically prevented us from leaving the lot! Hmmm - would running over a car salesman leave a mark?

When I moved to Tennessee in 1994 – I ordered my new car over the telephone. I knew what I wanted, what color I wanted, what options I wanted, and they had it waiting for me when I arrived. All I had to do was sign the paperwork. That was the best car sale I have ever had, but not the best car I ever had.

Well folks - now that you're all tensed up and feeling those old 'car salesman victim' blues welling up inside you, have a nice day!

Update at 12:10 - I forgot to tell one car sales story:

There is a local car dealership that has a mascot - their sweet old doggy named 'Woody'. Well guess what - while they were ooohing and aaaahing over Woody one day LIVE ON CAMERA, Woody lifts his darling little doggy leg and pees all over the new car they were advertising. Isn't that just the cutest thing EVER??? Oh, I want to buy THAT one, it's been christened. ;-)