It Only Hurts When I Blog

It's Wednesday! Halfway to the weekend!

Yes, I know it doesn't really matter to me, being unemployed and all...

First - Charlie was out yodeling in the driveway at 5:36am trying to get a turkey to answer him. ;-)

Second - the flower arrangement I won at Daryls benefit is still doing great. I don't think the other picture I posted did it justice, so I'm posting another.

It is really very large - I have to carry the whole thing to the sink to water it.

Third - I'm in the mood to talk about LAUNDRY today...

Quote of the day: Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done. Burt Reynolds

Charlie and I make TWO people. TWO. How can two people have so much laundry, and for that matter, how can we produce a bag of garbage per day? Is there a top-secret laundry expansion and garbage generation alien plot that we don’t know about? Call Moldy and Scummy. Skinner I'm not so sure about…

I did one load of laundry yesterday, and another the day before. It's a vicious cycle.

Yesterday, I opened the door of the washer to find that my brassiere was holding the rest of the laundry hostage. It was wrapped around my favorite bathrobe in a death grip and also was wound around the washing machine agitator, some towels, and anything else it could clamp in it’s evil jaws. How did that even happen? (It was trying to fulfill it’s secret life dream as a circus contortionist!)

Bloggers, will you get offended if I ask you a personal question? Do you bleach? I am not careful enough about separating whites from colors – therefore, some of my ‘unmentionables’ develop ‘unmentionable’ coloring as lights get mixed with darks.

My mother threw a few items of mine in with her wash when I was visiting last year. She held up one item after washing and said ‘Who’s nice gray bra is this’? Well, MINE of course, being the only other female in the house at the time, Mom. Once upon a time it was white, but thanks to my fantastic domestic prowess, it’s gray. Mom ended up borrowing it permantly, by the way, so she was 100% truthful about liking it. ;-)

My friend Ellen used to watch the washing machine suds agitate in a hypnotic state if there was nothing else to do. (Talk about stay-at-home mom’s boredom.) Ellen also got the first programmable oven I ever saw because she absolutely could not cook. She would set the dial to ‘chicken’, punch in the weight, and hope for the best. One of my first memories of Ellen was her throwing away eggs one by one as she cooked them for her daughter because they were turning her cheap aluminum pans dark (which eggs will do). I believe I pointed out the error in her thinking. ;-) Her children would call their grandmother and beg to be taken out to eat, and often she would come and get them!

I'm going to go make Charlie's lunch then finish my laundry discussion...

I'm back. When Charlie and I lived in a condo, we shared a laundry room with the other owners. It was amazing to me how many people would leave their clothes there for DAYS at a time...

Also at the condo - some folks moved in from a country I can't pronounce. They strung clotheslines in the trees and across the community dumpster (of all places) for their wash and someone had to explain to them they couldn't do that in a condo environment - the rest of us didn't want to partake of the view.

Newsflash - it is 6:13am and Charlie is hooting out in the driveway...

Years ago when it cost less, I would have the wash done FOR ME. That was lovely. You drop off your wash before work, leave it there, and they hand it back to you fluffed and dried and scented and folded. Aaaaah. My son (single guy that he is) sends his wash out and doesn't have a problem with it. ;-)

Oh! Just remembered this - my son had a friend named Brad. We could push his buttons pretty easily by teasing him.

I was driving them somewhere when they were maybe 10 or 12 years old. My son said 'Brad, you never change your underwear!'. Brad's answer... (hotly) 'I did so... YESTERDAY!' (TMI!)

Another favorite Brad-ism was to tell him quickly - 'Your mother's a WOMAN!'. Brad always denied it ('No, Sir!') before he realized what was said... ;-) Brad moved away to Arizona. Hi Brad, wherever you are!

We have a friend who hired a housekeeper. One of the things she was happy to do was the laundry, but our friend would not let her see or wash his underwear. Must be a 'sensitive guy' thing. HELLO - we ALL have it and we ALL wash it. (Uh, don't we?)

Play sound clip of 'Dirty Laundry' here and fade to commercial....TTFN!